There are many ways of venting one’s frustration. My husband chose to plunge himself headlong in his job, much to my consternation. I felt that after the humiliation he suffered from failing the QHI course, he should just give the minimum required to keep him from getting into trouble. There was no point in getting so besotted with work when no one seemed to appreciate the services rendered.
Despite the dedication, he was seriously contemplating leaving the Air Force. There was so much disillusionment after the QHI course that made leaving the perfect solution. Besides, the lure of big money working as a pilot outside, was also hard to resist. But, there was also loyalty on the other end of the scale. Both disillussionment and loyalty were in perfect equilibrium making it extremely difficult for him to choose.
The future in the Air Force appeared grim and bleak. The news that one of the instructors at the QHI course took over the place he was supposed to fill in, pierced even more deeply into the still fresh and open wound. It was a sad and difficult phase for both of us.
While all these problems were brewing, I lost all interest in socialising. My already irregular attendance at the Wives Club came to a complete standstill. I knew my presence was too insignificant to be felt but it would NOT go unnoticed. THAT I was absolutely sure. When two of my neighbours threw a party and we were not on their list of guests, I knew that my absence at the Wives Club was interpreted as a show of defiance and arrogance. I suspected there were many more parties which missed my detection. Although I pretended indifference, it was extremely painful to be so publicly ostracised and treated as outcasts.
At this juncture, it made leaving the Air Force both appealing and desirable.
Despite the fears and worries, the ostracicm and the lure of the big fat salary outside, I was still not keen on him leaving, for reasons I, myself had no answer. So, when he finally made his decision, after months of deliberation, to stay on, I thought he made a wise choice. Little did we know that the frustrations we had endured so far were nothing compared to what awaited us in the future.
To be continued………